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When you have a slutty wife

And the award for Best boyfriend category goes to …

Smooooooth…….!

Can't argue with that!

Everyday objects zoomed in is oddly satisfying.

Clowns, Irl, and Me IRL: FT We looked evèrywhere there could be clowns We even checked the U.S. Congress FT It was full of clowns, but/none of them were fun me irl

Dats the attention she needed

Nininininininggg

You can thank me for making sure your phone gets service.

“Why are you geh?”

Poor guy

Bold predictions

May the gates of hell open and swallow his entire administration whole, in Christ’s name, Amen.

It's Friday, folks! Just go for it!

Humble, Create, and Account: When you create multiple accounts to subscribe to Pewdiepie but you use none of them to subscribe to your normal account I, too, am extraordinarily humble. Congrats Pewds

Spent about 20 minutes on the phone with the state police tonight while behind a drunk driver. Luckily they were arrested. If you drink and drive, f**k you.

Sometimes life is full of surprises.

Found her cat 16 days after the tornado

Some coworkers are at a workshop. This is the logo the organizers are using…

I cant just seem to avoid it….better ideas come when I procrastinate…

Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

You’ll get there. Just keep pushing forward!

Like a glove.

Guys, I did It!

Afghans keep the raisins fresh for 6 months in clay bins.

…and then sleep for 2 days

Winter has come to construction site

A good slow-mo of a rather intense lightening-bolt strike.

Well…I can't meme at all…

Studley Tool Chest held 220 tools in a 40 by 20 inch box that could hang on the wall. It held tools to make pianos.

South Park creators issue an apology after their show gets banned in China.

Switzerland

Birthday, Crush, and Drugs: Pick a number? THE BASICS REDDIT SEX & SEXUALITY 25. How many followers do you have 49. Are you a virgin 1 Age 50. Has anyone seen you naked 2. Gender 26. Favorite subreddit 3. Height 27. Favorite redditor 51. Have you any tattoos / plercings 4. Weight 28. Amount of time you spend on reddit 52. Have you had a same-sex experience 5. Where are you from 29. How many people have you chatted with 53. Have you ever sent a nude 54. Have you ever sexted 6. Zodiac sign 30. Last person you DM’d/Chatted 7 First name 55. Have you ever kissed anyone 31. How many subreddits do you follow 56. Am I attractive 8. Birthday 32. Do you follow any NSFW subreddits FAVORITE THINGS LOOKS SEXUAL NSFW 33. Hair style 9. Favorite color 57. Bra dick size 34. Hair color 10. Favorite food 58. Pubic hair natural, trimmed, shaved or none 11 Favorite music genre 35. Eye color 59. Do you have any body hair 60. Guys-only: are you circumcised 12. Favorite song 36. Body type / build 13. Favorite movie 37 Ethnicity 61 How often do you masturbate 14. Favorite tv show 38. Favorite outfit 62. Last time you masturbated 15. Favorite animal 39. What are you wearing 63. Have you ever watched porn 16. Favorite thing to do 40. Type of underwear you wear 64. Ideal sexual/physical attributes 65. Favorite sexual fantasty LIFE /EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS 66. Turns ons/Turn offs 41 Sexuality 17. Your hobbles/sports 67. Any kinks 18. Future job/ambitions 42. Relationship status 19. Have you drank / smoked 43. Who is your crush MISC. 20. Have you done drugs 44. Celebrity crush 68. Send a selfie 21. Do you have any pets 45. Have you ever cheated on someone 70. Send me a DM/Chat message 7 Ask whatever you like (can’t say no) 22. Best memory 46. Ideal girlfriend/boyfriend 23. Most embarrassing moment 47 Idea of a perfect date 72. Ask me one 24. Dream vacation 48. Have you asked anyone out THE REDDIT R/TEENAGERS PICK A NUMBER GAME: EXTENDED EDITION JULY 2019 im 15 (M)

Honey there's lava everywhere what are you doing?

Floor made of coins.

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