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Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

And the Nobel prize goes to

Roll it again!

That pretty cool

Amazingly Oddly Satisfying Migration with Ducks!

Children, Dogs, and Energy: AUMlenhattan ACC wating for Leve! TArsa trsal Good looking, friendly, very social & wiggly, seeks attention, affection & 72840 1 YEARS 4 cuddles, MONTHS OLD treat MAX URSA motivated attt TO BE KILLED – 8/24/2019 WINNING SMILE FOR A WINNING POOCH <3 Meet the life of the party, Max! A super good looking young boy who knows how to get attention. Max loves being part of a crowd, and loves playful interaction more than anything. He wears a rich black brindled coat with a vanilla chest. and socks. He arrived soft bodied, wiggly and cooperated during his assessment. Max puts 100% into everything, he makes himself known, and insists on interaction. Just over a year old, he is at the perfect age to be trained to his home's desires, his astute intellect will take him far. Sociability is effortless for this hunk, as is his knack for making people feel loved.Though Max easily makes himself at home, he is in dire need of one now that he is placed on the heartless list. MAX URSA@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Max Ursa My animal id is #72840 I am a male black brindle dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 1 years 4 months old Came into shelter as a stray 8/16/2019 Max Ursa is rescue only Max Ursa is at risk for behavioral observations. Max Ursa has displayed a low threshold for arousal and becomes easily overstimulated with the potential to tip into aggression. Max Ursa would be best suited for placement with a new hope partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification. Medically, Max Ursa seems healthy. My medical notes are... Vet Notes Medical Assistant 8/16/2019 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 1 Microchip noted on Intake? neg History : stray Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - Very strong, seeks attention - wants you to pet him, jumps up for cuddles, very wiggly, food/ treat motivated Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = P = 120 R =eup BCS= 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: difficult to examine well - too active - no significant calculus PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male - 2sst, pre-scrotal area cln MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment healthy 1 yo M intact large breed dog Prognosis: good Plan: routine intake SURGERY: Okay for surgery Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 8/16/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Stray Date of assessment:: 8/17/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft, stays by assessor, mouths with moderate pressure Handling Soft handling: Over-aroused Exuberant handling: Over-aroused Handling comments: Body soft, jumping up, mouths with light pressure Arousal Jog: Engages in play with handler, escalates Arousal comments: Jumps up and mouths assessor then begins to growl and snaps at assessor's foot Knock: Approaches (exuberant) Knock Comments: Jumps up and mouths Toy: Grips, firm Toy comments: Body soft Date of initial:: 8/16/2019 Summary:: Soft body, jumps up, attention seeking ENERGY LEVEL:: We have no history on Max Ursa so we cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment. However, he is a young, enthusiastic, social dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to the high level of arousal seen at the care center from Max Ursa and the potential he has shown to tip over into aggression, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to the high level of arousal seen at the care center from Max Ursa and the potential he has shown to tip over into aggression, we recommend placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification (force-free, positive reinforcement-based) and re-evaluate behavior in a stable home environment before placement into a permanent home. Potential challenges: : Basic manners/poor impulse control,Social hyperarousal,Mouthiness/poor bite inhibition,Low threshold for arousal Potential challenges comments:: Basic manners/poor impulse control: Max Ursa jumps up a lot on people in a social manner. Please see handout on Basic Manners. Mouthiness/poor bite inhibition: Max Ursa has displayed a high level of mouthiness at the care center, applying moderate pressure. Please see handout on Mouthiness. Low threshold for arousal: Max Ursa became quickly aroused on his assessment during the jog portion. He growled and snapped at the assessor's foot while the assessor was jogging with him. He has displayed a potential to tip over into aggression when he becomes aroused. Please see handout on Arousal. MAX URSA IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

Robber definitely didn’t plan well

I have so many questions… (1.45 min)

Facebook, Friends, and Arkansas: 1 hr MaJor indicators that the girl you don’t know who’s adding you on facebook might want to sell you something from their MLM: 1. From a small town in Arkansas/Missouri 2. Have a few mutual friends, but none that you’ve talked to in the last year 3. Has something like "mama bear" or "WAHM" in their Facebook bio, bonus points for "girl boss" 4. Share a bunch of posts asking for your personal opinion to help their engagement to sell their crappy products 5. If accepted, will like all of your posts for the next two weeks to condition you for the impending "HEY GIRL!" DM 13 Comments My friend nails it on how to spot a hun-bot from a (Facebook) mile away

Your product may have been slightly damaged in transit

Click, Reddit, and Proof: Countsyourself Asaname There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Countsyourself Asaname. The estimates for one or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details. Proof that this site

Puppy was not expecting snow.

Tolkien Tuesday: The Best Lord of the Rings Memes This Week (May 13, 2025)

Crisis alert?

Feels bad for Joe

This Chemical Reaction Looks Like It's Straight Out of a Horror Movie.

The chemistry is right.

Gator the great, excaligator

Twitter madlad

No, but actually yes.

So satisfying

Laying down double lines at parking lot !!

A car covered with ice, to the Icemobile!

Smooooooth…….!

No consequences

Hey now hey now.. this is what dreams are made of. Lizzie McGuire is coming to Disney plus.

Sledding is a dangerous game

Birthday, Bored, and Crush: Pick a number? THE BASICS REDDIT SEX & SEXUALITY 49. Are you a virgin 1. Age 25. How many folowers do you have 2. Gender 26. Favorite subreddit 50. Has anyone seen you naked 3. Height 27. Favorite redditor 51. Have you any tattoos /piercings 28. Amount of time you spend on reddit 4 Weight 52. Have you had a same -sex expertience 5 29. How many people have you chatted with Where are you from 53. Have you ever sent a nude Zodiac sign 54. Have you ever sexted 6 30. Last person you DM’d/Chatted 55. Have you ever kissed anyone First name 31 How many subreddits do you follow Am I attractive 8 Birthday 32. Do you follow any NSFW subreddits 56. FAVORITE THINGS LOOKS SEXUAL NSFW 33. Hair style 9 Favorite color 57. Bra dick size 58. Pubic hair natural, trimmed, shaved or none 10. Favorite food 34. Hair color 11 Favorite music genre 59. Do you have any body hair 35. Eye color 60. Guys-only: are you circumcised 36. Body type / build 12. Favorite song 13. Favorite movic 37 Ethnicity 61. How often do you masturbate 14. Favorite tv show 38. Favorite outfit 62. Last time you masturbated 39. What are you wearing 63. Have you ever watched porn 15. Favorite animal 16. Favorite thing to do 40. Type of underwear you wear 64. Ideal sexual /physical attributes 65. Favorite sexual fantasty LIFE EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS 66. Turns ons Turn offs 17. Your hobbies / sports 41 Sexuallty 67. Any kinks 18. Future job /ambitions 42. Relationship status 43. Who is your crush 19. Have you drank / smoked MISC. 20. Have you done drugs 44. Celebrity crush 68. Send a selfie 21. Do you have any pets 45. Have you ever cheated on someone 70. Send me a DM/Chat message 22. Best memory 46. Ideal girtfriend /boyfriend 71. Ask whatever you lke (can’t say no) 72. Ask me one 23. Most embarrassing moment 47. Idea of a perfect date 24. Dream vacation 48. Have you asked anyone out THE REDDIT R/TEENAGERS PICK A NUMBER GAME EXTENDED EDITION JULY 2019 st LO L N Bored, in class, ask away

She will never forget that

NSFW – Maybe you should think twice about doing these things in a pool with glass as a poolwall.

How a physics degree really pays off

Thousands of baby seahorses spurting out of a male seahorse

Chipotle’s new slogan

College be like

This scene of cows in nature drinking from a stream brings me peace of mind

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