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Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

Disappointed, Jesus, and Cross: Three things wrong with this and none are biblical! Listen Men NOW! First off: Pray for the Lord to take away the fun and excitement of porn! Second: Mean it! Understand that you can’t defeat demons that you enjoy playing with! STOP! Concentrating on your problem and start concentrating on the cross. To often, a lot of ministeries will keep you focused on your addiction! Leave them! Follow Jesus and realize your salvation. These types of suggestions only leave you frustrated and disappointed. 6 לו Like Reply 8w Pray the Porn Away

Guaranteeing a second term for the Donald

What the f**k

Accurate Country names (57 seconds)

Smooooooth…….!

Be aware

Pole vault jump

Just this

What could go wrong Running a biker off the road

You’ll get there. Just keep pushing forward!

Floor made of coins.

Never Google your symptoms(2:32)

I laughed more than I should have

Someone wants in through the cat door.

Give me a hand will ya

Business, Fuck, and Information: She’s viewing sensitive information. It’s none of her business if there’s enough funds left for the kid or enough for the king of ten-buck-two Vote the king of ten-buck-two. What the fuck? Vote The kingdom of Ten-buck-two.

How??

Cars, Driving, and Energy: To all the school kids who are on about Climate Change and thinking of striking again: You are the first generation who have required air-conditioning in every classroom You want TV in every room and your classes are all computerised. You spend all day and night on electronic devices More than ever, you don’t walk or ride bikes to school but arrive in caravans of privatee cars that choke local roads and worsen rush hour traffic You are the biggest consumers of manufactured goods ever and update perfectly good expensive luxury items to stay trendy, Your entertainment comes from electric devices. Furthermore, the people driving your protests are the same people who insist on inflating the population growth through immigration, which increases the need for energy, manufacturing and transport The more people we have, the more forest and bushland we clear and more of the artificially environment is destroyed. How about this… Tell your teachers to switch off the air-con Walk or ride to school. Switch off your devices and read a book. Make a sandwich instead of buying manufactured fast food No, none of this will happen because you are selfish, badly educated, virtue signalling little ‘princesses’, inspired by the adults around you who crave a feeling of having a ‘noble cause’ while they indulge themselves in Western luxury and unprecedented quality of life. Wake up, grow up and learn to research facts and think for yourself and not blindly accept the words and thoughts of others – I don’t think you formulated this action plan all by your self suspect you may have had some influence and ‘guidance’ from those you trust..a word of warning, be cautious of the influence of the left’ because there may be a time in the future that you will be the ones left out… ….C Good ol’ boomers

That time of year?

There is no helping mental illness

Taking her daughter to a concert and they suddenly start dancing

Click, Meme, and Minecraft: Dio Brando There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Dio Brando. The estimates for one or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details u/SPARTAN-117a Laughs in Za Warudo I know it’s not a Minecraft meme I’m sorry

Sledding is a dangerous game

Work from home

I’m about to have a conniption (25 photos)

Funny cuz she's fat

Children, Dogs, and Energy: AUMlenhattan ACC wating for Leve! TArsa trsal Good looking, friendly, very social & wiggly, seeks attention, affection & 72840 1 YEARS 4 cuddles, MONTHS OLD treat MAX URSA motivated attt TO BE KILLED – 8/24/2019 WINNING SMILE FOR A WINNING POOCH <3 Meet the life of the party, Max! A super good looking young boy who knows how to get attention. Max loves being part of a crowd, and loves playful interaction more than anything. He wears a rich black brindled coat with a vanilla chest. and socks. He arrived soft bodied, wiggly and cooperated during his assessment. Max puts 100% into everything, he makes himself known, and insists on interaction. Just over a year old, he is at the perfect age to be trained to his home's desires, his astute intellect will take him far. Sociability is effortless for this hunk, as is his knack for making people feel loved.Though Max easily makes himself at home, he is in dire need of one now that he is placed on the heartless list. MAX URSA@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Max Ursa My animal id is #72840 I am a male black brindle dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 1 years 4 months old Came into shelter as a stray 8/16/2019 Max Ursa is rescue only Max Ursa is at risk for behavioral observations. Max Ursa has displayed a low threshold for arousal and becomes easily overstimulated with the potential to tip into aggression. Max Ursa would be best suited for placement with a new hope partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification. Medically, Max Ursa seems healthy. My medical notes are... Vet Notes Medical Assistant 8/16/2019 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 1 Microchip noted on Intake? neg History : stray Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - Very strong, seeks attention - wants you to pet him, jumps up for cuddles, very wiggly, food/ treat motivated Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = P = 120 R =eup BCS= 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: difficult to examine well - too active - no significant calculus PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male - 2sst, pre-scrotal area cln MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment healthy 1 yo M intact large breed dog Prognosis: good Plan: routine intake SURGERY: Okay for surgery Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 8/16/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Stray Date of assessment:: 8/17/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft, stays by assessor, mouths with moderate pressure Handling Soft handling: Over-aroused Exuberant handling: Over-aroused Handling comments: Body soft, jumping up, mouths with light pressure Arousal Jog: Engages in play with handler, escalates Arousal comments: Jumps up and mouths assessor then begins to growl and snaps at assessor's foot Knock: Approaches (exuberant) Knock Comments: Jumps up and mouths Toy: Grips, firm Toy comments: Body soft Date of initial:: 8/16/2019 Summary:: Soft body, jumps up, attention seeking ENERGY LEVEL:: We have no history on Max Ursa so we cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment. However, he is a young, enthusiastic, social dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to the high level of arousal seen at the care center from Max Ursa and the potential he has shown to tip over into aggression, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to the high level of arousal seen at the care center from Max Ursa and the potential he has shown to tip over into aggression, we recommend placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification (force-free, positive reinforcement-based) and re-evaluate behavior in a stable home environment before placement into a permanent home. Potential challenges: : Basic manners/poor impulse control,Social hyperarousal,Mouthiness/poor bite inhibition,Low threshold for arousal Potential challenges comments:: Basic manners/poor impulse control: Max Ursa jumps up a lot on people in a social manner. Please see handout on Basic Manners. Mouthiness/poor bite inhibition: Max Ursa has displayed a high level of mouthiness at the care center, applying moderate pressure. Please see handout on Mouthiness. Low threshold for arousal: Max Ursa became quickly aroused on his assessment during the jog portion. He growled and snapped at the assessor's foot while the assessor was jogging with him. He has displayed a potential to tip over into aggression when he becomes aroused. Please see handout on Arousal. MAX URSA IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

You're going to be a grandfather

MMA Fighter insane armbar reversal! (Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennet)

Crush, Love, and Nsfw: Pick a number? LOOKS MY BODY NSFW 24. Bra/dick size 1 Ethnicity 25. Do you have any body hair 2. Hair style 26. Pubic hair: natural, trimmed, shaved or none 3. Hair color 27. Guys-only: are you circumcised 4. Eye color 28. Favorite physical attribute about yourself Body type /build 5. 6 What are you wearing SEXUAL NSFW 7 Type of underwear you wear 31. Have you ever watched porn 3 things you love about yourself 8 32. Have you ever watched gay porn 33. Type of pom you watch most often RELATIONSHIPS 34. What age did you start masturbating 9 Sexuality 35. How often do you masturbate 10. Relationship status 11. Who is your crush 36. Last time you masturbated 37. Guys-only: Last time you were hard 12. Celebrity crush 38. Ideal sexual /physical attributes 13. Have you ever cheated on someone 39. Favorite sexual fantasty 14. Ideal girtfriend/boyfriend 40. Have you ever fantasized about- 15. Idea of a perfect date someone of the same-sex 16. Have you asked anyone out 41. Turns ons/ Turn offs 42. Any kinks SEX & SEXUALITY 17. Are you a virgin MISC. 18. Has anyone seen you naked 43. Send me a selfie 19. Have you any tattoos /piercings 44. Send me a DM/Chat message 20. Have you had a same-sex experience 45. Ask whatever you like (can’t say no) 21. Have you ever sent a nude 46. OP, Ask me a question 22. Have you ever sexted 47. Truth or dare? 23. Have you ever kissed anyone THE REDDIT R/TEENAGERS PICK A NUMBER GAME MORE EXCITING* EDITION Please don’t downv0te me to hell for this

When the drugs kick in

Tutorial gif how to save your pet from angry raccoon

Don't worry mate. I'm fine

British Karen Trump

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