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36 Gen X Memes for 80’s Kids Raised on Hose Water

This is half funny but mostly badass

Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

Birthday, Crush, and Drugs: Pick a number? THE BASICS REDDIT SEX & SEXUALITY 1 Age 25. How many followers do you have 49. Are you a virgin 2. Gender 26. Favorite subreddit 50. Has anyone seen you naked 51. Have you any tattoos /piercings 3. Height 27. Favorite redditor 4. Weight 28. Amount of time you spend on reddit 52. Have you had a same-sexexperience 53. Have you ever sent a nude 5. Where are you from 29. How many people have you chatted with 6. Zodiac sign 30. Last person you DM’d/Chatted 54. Have you ever sexted 7. First name 55. Have you ever kissed anyone 31. How many subreddits do you follow 56. Am I attractive 8. Birthday 32. Do you follow any NSFW subreddits LOOKS FAVORITE THINGS SEXUAL NSFW 33. Hair style 9. Favorite color 57. Bra/dick size 10. Favorite food 34. Hair color 58. Pubic hair: natural, trimmed, shaved or none Favorite music genre 35. Eye color 59. Do you have any body hair 11. 12 Favorite song 36. Body type/ build 60. Guys-only are you circumcised 61 37. Ethnicity 13. Favorite movie How often do you masturbate 62. Last time you masturbated 14. Favorite tv show 38. Favorite outfit 39. What are you wearing 15. Favorite animal 63. Have you ever watched porn 16. Favorite thing to do 40. Type of underwear you wear 64. Ideal sexual/ physical attributes 65. Favorite sexual fantasty LIFE/EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS 66. Turns ons/ Turn offs 17. Your hobbies/sports 41 Sexuality 67. Any kinks 42. Relationship status 18. Future job/ambitions 43. Who is your crush 19. Have you drank / smoked MISC. 20. Have you done drugs 44. Celebrity crush 68. Send a selfie 21. Do you have any pets 45. Have you ever cheated on someone 70. Send me a DM/Chat message 22. Best memory 46. Ideal girlfriend/ boyfriend 71. Ask whatever you like (can’t say no) 23. Most embarrassing moment 47 Idea of a perfect date 72. Ask me one 24. Dream vacation 48. Have you asked anyone out THE REDDIT R/TEENAGERS PICK A NUMBER GAME EXTENDED EDITION JULY 2019 I am 13m

1 minute and 9 second (turn the volume)

Overpowered

Maybe maybe

A marine bologist films this octopus changing colors while dreaming and it's spectacular

Environmental protesters preventing hungry Danish from eating breakfast

Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: Big hearted "Barbie Happy-go lucky social Sweetheart. Cuddly, playful & totally endearing! ID 58945, 4 YRS. 58 LBS. OF JOY SPAYED MANHATTAN ACC TO BE KILLED 8/29/19 Social, sunny, and incredibly sweet, Barbie is a wiggly bundle of love who has a big smile and a wagging tail for everyone she meets. Yes, she give you the welcome “bark” because she is full of enthusiasm, but we forgive her because in her face is nothing but joy and happiness at the opportunity to make a new friend. She was adopted in April but sadly she was returned in August, and simply because it was a poor adoption – she was not in the hands of the experienced foster or adopter that she needed. She’s so eager to please and eager to learn, and has a heart of pure gold. As a volunteer writes: “She’s a Barbie girl in a barbie world! And she thinks life is fantastic! This happy go lucky pup just enjoys the company of her human peers. She enjoys a fun game a fetch and then sitting and leaning in closely next to her friends, a lovable pup she sure is. Barbie is the kind of dog to make you smile ear to ear, she is the dog I go to when I need some extra sunshine. I enjoy her bounces and hops when shes playing out in the yard. Barbie can bit talkative as well, she will let you know when she wants you to throw her ball, pet her and treat her all by letting out some "woofs!". A not so great habit she has but I can help but admit how endearing it can be…. We love everything about Barbie and think you will too once you meet this sweet little peach! Share big hearted Barbie far and wide for her perfect family.” If you can foster or adopt her yourself, just MESSAGE our page or email us at [email protected] for assistance. BARBIE, ID# 58945, 4 Yrs. old, 58.2 lbs., Spayed Female Manhattan ACC, Large Mixed Breed, White / Brown I came to the shelter as an Agency, 8/8/2019 Shelter Assessment Rating: New Hope Rescue Only Medical Behavior Rating: 2. Blue AT RISK MEMO: Barbie is at risk for behavioral reasons. Barbie has a bite history and has displayed dog reactivity with the potential to redirect onto people. Barbie would be best suited for placement with a new hope partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification. Medically, Barbie seems healthy. INTAKE NOTE – DATE OF INTAKE, 4/2/2019: Barbie hard barked in the lobby but looked to have a loose body. While barking, Barbie wagged her tail and allowed for counselors to approch her and walk her on the leash. Barbie was handled by her owner to be placed into a kennel. OWNER SURRENDER NOTES – BASIC INFORMATION: Barbie is an unaltered female large mixed breed, estimated to be 3 years old. Barbie was surrendered due to her food aggression and aggressive behaviors. Barbie lived with an adult, 3 children and 1 large dog. Barbie will bark at strangers. She is playful with the 7, 12 and 16 year old children in the home. Barbie lives with a unaltered male estimated to be 9 years old that she consistently fights with. Fights usually occurs during feeding and sometimes it escalates when they play. There were no cats in her previous home so Barbie’s behavior around cats is unknown. Barbie will bark, growl, and may bite when a stranger or owner tries to touch the food while eating. Barbie is housetrained and has a medium energy level. Other Notes: Barbie will not stay still during baths and does not enjoy being groomed. She has never had a medical issue, and has no known medical concerns. For a New Family to Know: Barbie is kept indoors and enjoys sleeping anywhere in the home. Barbie was fed dog food and house food 3-4 times a day. Barbie enjoys all types of toys and rips the furniture. Barbie enjoys using the bathroom in the owners back yard and was not taken out for walks. Bite history:: Yes, Barbie has gotten into several fights with the other dog in the home and they have bitten each other. The most recent fight occurred when the owner was preparing for the dogs. Barbie bit the other dog and her owner when the owner was attempting to break up the fight. The bite to the owner resulted in broken skin on her leg. Barbie bit her owner on the left arm, breaking skin. The circumstances of this bite are not known. Barbie bit the neighbor’s dog. The circumstances and severity of this bite are not known. SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES – DATE OF ASSESSMENT: 4/10/2019 Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: Moderate Leash walking comments: Barks at dogs with soft body Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft, stays by assessor, jumps up when approaches Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Seeks contact Comments: Body soft, leans into pets Arousal Jog: Engages in play (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (loose) Knock Comments: None Toy: No response Toy comments: None INTAKE BEHAVIOR – Date of intake:: 4/2/2019 Summary:: Loose body, barking ENERGY LEVEL:: Barbie is described as having a medium level of activity. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM – Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to resource guarding displayed in her previous home (growling and snapping when her food is touched), and her bite history, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to having bitten the other dog in the home multiple times and potentially redirecting towards people, as well as biting her owner under unknown circumstances, we recommend she be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Barbie to acclimate comfortably to her new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Barbie to new and unfamiliar situations. Consultation with a professional trainer/behaviorist is highly recommended for guidance to safely manage/modify any behavior Barbie presents with outside of the care centers. Potential challenges: : Resource guarding,Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration,Bite history (human),Bite history (dog) Potential challenges comments:: Resource guarding: Babrie is reported to growl and snap if her food is touched. She should always be left alone while eating. Please see handout on Resource Guarding. Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression: Barbie has bitten multiple times in her previous home, having gotten into multiple fights with the other dog in the home and having bitten the owner when the owner was breaking up the fight. She has also bitten the neighbor’s dog and her owner under unknown circumstances. Barbie should live in a home without other animals. These bite have broken skin. Please see handout on Bite History. On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration: Barbie has been observed to react to other dogs on leash, barking at them. Please see handout on On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration. MEDICAL NOTES 4/3/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2-3 YEARS based on condition of teeth Microchip noted on Intake?no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : Owner surrender; did not get along with the other dog in the household Subjective: tense body; eyeing the handler Observed Behavior – sedated for physical exam Evidence of Cruelty seen – no Evidence of Trauma seen – no Objective sedation- butorph.- 1 ml and dexdorm.- 0.9ml IM P = 40 R = 30 BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes= left scleral bruising dorsal aspect of orbit; ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted; multifocal crusts and scars on face Oral Exam: mild staining and tartar PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: FS based on the absence of an OHE scar MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation sedated Assessment apparently healthy scars on face-- old wounds Prognosis: good Plan: sedate for examination intake procedures SURGERY: Okay for surgery after DOH Hold 4/7/2019 Requesting Trazadone Treatment for 58.1 lb dog Trazadone- 100mg SIG:1 1/4 tab po q 12 hrs 4/13/2019 ACS reported bloody stool. She took a picture and there was some firm stool followed by diarrhea with a significant amount of frank blood noted. No vomiting noted. Eating well today but yesterday low appetite. BAR in kennel, barking No v/d in run No c/s, nasal or ocular discharge noted She appears to have good energy A:Hematochezia Hx of fracture tooth P: -Start Fortiflora 1 packet in food SID x 5 days -Start metronidazole 500 mg PO BID x 5 days -Good prognosis 4/23/2019 Subjective barking and jumping at front of kennel - performed visual examination due to orange-red behavior Objective R = 20 BCS = 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted PLN: No enlargements noted U/G: intact MSI: Ambulatory x 4, CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Assessment - healthy SURGERY: Okay for surgery 4/23/2019 Routine OVH: Ventral midline incision approach; each ovarian pedicle ligated with two modified Miller’s knot using 0-0 PDS II and excised distal to ligature; uterine body ligated with two modified-Miller's knot and simple encircling ligature using 0-0 PDS II and excised distal to ligatures; body wall closed with simple cont. pattern using 0 PDS II; subcutaneous/intradermal layers closed with continuous pattern using 0-0 PDS II; green-ink tattoo placed lateral to spay incision; surgical glue applied to skin incision and over tattoo site to assist with closure 8/12/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~4.5yrs based on hx. Microchip noted on Intake? scanned positive. History: O surrender. P bit o and drew blood, also bit another dog. Subjective / Observed Behavior - Hard barking at kennel front. Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - crusts and old scarring along the right lateral face. Objective BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: did not evaluate due to behavior. PLN: No enlargements noted ABD: WNL U/G: spayed female. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat. multifocal crusting along the right lateral face, scars along the right lateral face and ventral neck. wounds appear to be ~10-14 days in age. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities. P is not showing any sign of rabies infection at this time. Rectal: externally normal. Assessment multifocal crusting and scars on face overweight Prognosis: good Plan: observe DOH hold SURGERY: spayed * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * BARBIE IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt her. She cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can she be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE!

CNN is f**king dumb

Transparent solar panel.

Project Mk Ultra: The system does not need to try to control us anymore, since we are making us being controlled by ourselves.

This interior design animation

90s teachers be like

Ok then

Wonder how many attempts went wrong

Thousands of baby seahorses spurting out of a male seahorse

Yes… Yes they do

Electronic Housefly Trap

Put a lock on that shit.

Nothing to do here

Todays society…

Pumpkin, Got, and Him: Sonya Huber @sonyahuber My neighbor across the street had a pumpkin plant take over his entire front yard. I asked him what fertilizer he used. "None! This was an accident from our jack o’ lantern." Then like captain Ahab he stared into the distance and said, "I’ve just got to see this through." 203–P00

When your cup noodle hates you too

Natural selection

James May vs Gordon Ramsay

Wood work

I got it after thinking for about 10 minutes

Beautiful view of the Falcon 9 launch

Click, Cool, and Dank Memes: Tarapolomosoko Potopopopo There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Tarapolamosoko Potopopopa The estimates for one or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or nane at all. Click here for more details Impossible. Trilapomososobo Extramorsolofo There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Trilapamososoba Extramorsolofa. The estimates for ane or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details Very cool name

Dj Flame !

We frens?

Friends, Shit, and Whatsapp: This shit is scarier than The Nun THE NONE My friend’s profile picture on Whatsapp

Add Hillary Clinton

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