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Heart transplant: a bad heart going out and a new heart going in.

Rainproof car mirror sticker

Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

Now a days, it's called "who is afraid of the octopus?"

There are normal people and then there are people who always play the victim card

Birthday, Crush, and Drugs: Pick a number? REDDIT THE BASICS SEX & SEXUALITY 49. Are you a virgin 1. Age 25. How many followers do you have 2. Gender 26. Favorite subreddit 50. Has anyone seen you naked 3. Height 27. Favorite redditor 51. Have you any tattoos / piercings 4. Weight 28. Amount of time you spend on reddit 52. Have you had a same-sex experience 5. Where are you from 29. How many people have you chatted with 53. Have you ever sent a nude 6. Zodiac sign 30. Last person you DM’d/Chatted 54. Have you ever sexted 55. Have you ever kissed anyone 7. First name 31. How many subreddits do you follow 56. Am I attractive 8. Birthday 32. Do you follow any NSFW subreddits FAVORITE THINGS LOOKS SEXUAL NSFW 9. Favorite color 33. Hair style 57. Bra/dick size 34. Hair color 10. Favorite food 58. Pubic hair: natural, trimmed, shaved or none Favorite music genre 11. 35. Eye color 59. Do you have any body hair 12. Favorite song 36. Body type/ build 60. Guys-only: are you circumcised 37. Ethnicity 13. Favorite movie 61. How often do you masturbate 14. Favorite tv show 38. Favorite outfit 62. Last time you masturbated 15. Favorite animal 39. What are you wearing 63. Have you ever watched porn 16. Favorite thing to do 64. Ideal sexual / physical attributes 40. Type of underwear you wear 65. Favorite sexual fantasty LIFE/EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS 66. Turns ons / Turn offs 17. Your hobbies /sports 41 Sexuality 67. Any kinks 18. Future job / ambitions 42. Relationship status 43. Who is your crush 19. Have you drank / smoked MISC 20. Have you done drugs 44. Celebrity crush 68. Send a selfie 70. Send me a DM/ Chat message 21. Do you have any pets 45. Have you ever cheated on someone 22. Best memory 46. Ideal girlfriend / boyfriend 71. Ask whatever you like (can’t say no) 23. Most embarrassing moment 47. Idea of a perfect date 72. Ask me one 15f dont hate me plz

*smh*

Facebook, Friends, and Arkansas: 1 hr MaJor indicators that the girl you don’t know who’s adding you on facebook might want to sell you something from their MLM: 1. From a small town in Arkansas/Missouri 2. Have a few mutual friends, but none that you’ve talked to in the last year 3. Has something like "mama bear" or "WAHM" in their Facebook bio, bonus points for "girl boss" 4. Share a bunch of posts asking for your personal opinion to help their engagement to sell their crappy products 5. If accepted, will like all of your posts for the next two weeks to condition you for the impending "HEY GIRL!" DM 13 Comments My friend nails it on how to spot a hun-bot from a (Facebook) mile away

Invisible selfie stick.

I'm also in desperate need for sauce

Sports

Winter has come to construction site

Police, Star, and One: What’s your star sign? safe speeding But that one doesn’t exist? none of them exist NSW Police Force Mercuuuuury retroooooograaaaaaaade!! NSW police keeping up with the times

Mamma mia

To assassinate a Bulgarian politician

And then he died

Anime, Confused, and Love: I love you | like you Thanks to my effectively nonexistent contact with other, genuinely functional human beings (mostly born out of the fact that I find myself unable to create or understand healthy social interactions), I am unsure if what I feel for you is genuine romantic affection, or if I’m just so detached from emotions and social interactions that I have confused love with the platonic desire for friendship, or even the basic human craving for love and affection, given that I have none. Not that I have anyone else to blame since I myself have created the vicious spiral of self-pity and social anxiety that I am still sliding down. Somebody kill me Can I get an F

Spent about 20 minutes on the phone with the state police tonight while behind a drunk driver. Luckily they were arrested. If you drink and drive, f**k you.

Fireworks Japan are next level

Greta Thunberg, the savior of Earth

No guitar pick, just fingers. Mark Knopfler and Dire Straits everyone

Foster mom is making sure kittens have full tummies

Deep inside Louise

Cosplay at its best – MegaCon 2018

I cant just seem to avoid it….better ideas come when I procrastinate…

Chicken firework

What the f**k

You don't wanna get sonburn

What is love?

How to talk to a baby

They're human too

It's not enough 18 cm? Crying with my 14 cm

Ok then

AV-8B Harrier II

Disappointed, Jesus, and Cross: Three things wrong with this and none are biblical! Listen Men NOW! First off: Pray for the Lord to take away the fun and excitement of porn! Second: Mean it! Understand that you can’t defeat demons that you enjoy playing with! STOP! Concentrating on your problem and start concentrating on the cross. To often, a lot of ministeries will keep you focused on your addiction! Leave them! Follow Jesus and realize your salvation. These types of suggestions only leave you frustrated and disappointed. 6 לו Like Reply 8w Pray the Porn Away

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