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Move over Simone Biles. These frozen pants just stuck the landing.

Thunders in Egypt today

Click, Dank Memes, and Reality: Thanos Thanos There are 394 people in the U.S. with the last name Thanos. There are fewer than 1,650 people in the U.S. with the first name Thanos. The estimate for this name is not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details Statistically the 58849th most popular last name Thanos Thanos There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Thanos Thanos. The estimates for one or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all Click here for more details "I am inevitable." Reality can be whatever I want

Politician promised to build a bridge, went missing and came back just before elections to promise them again to build the same bridge.

Apparently, Bad, and Bones: At Brooklgn ACC walting for LOVE 38532 Bowie 3 yrs old. 60 lbs STNKIN Cute! TO BE KILLED 8/27/19 I have been returned again 🙁 8/14/2019 AND THEY CHANGED MY NAME to BOWIE! SADLY THIS IS BOWIE’s THIRD STAY AT THE SHELTER! WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH BAD LUCK?? JUST LOOK AT THE AMAZING SMILE! COMBINED WITH HIS WONDERFUL PERSONALITY. Bowie is a joy! and he deserves the best! Affectionate and Friendly, he loves to play! He loves to eat and will follow you around when you are home. he loves to play with squeaky toys! So please help Bowie find his forever home! Or better yet, please consider opening your home and your heart and #SAVEBOWIE now! MY MOVIES: BACC Tyson https://youtu.be/QLJSwFbdMSg MACC Tyson and Nyla in Playgroup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOhOThEMswA BOWIE FKA TYSON, ID# 38532 – 3 yrs old, 60 lbs, Brooklyn Animal Care Center, Large Mixed Breed Cross, White / Tan Neutered Male, Adoption Return (for the second time by same owner, was RTO in July) Owner Surrender Reason: Shelter Assessment Rating: NEW HOPE ONLY No children (under 13) Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Medical Behavior Rating: BEHAVIOR NOTES 8/14/2019, Owner surrender, third stay in the care center Means of surrender (length of time in previous home): Owner Surrender (In home for 1 year) Previously lived with: Adults Behavior toward strangers: Friendly and outgoing Resource guarding: None reported Bite history: None reported Housetrained: No Energy level/descriptors: Bowie is described as affectionate, and playful with a medium to high activity level. SAFER ASSESSMENT: Behavior Assessment Date: 8/15/2019 Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Medium to hard Reactivity to humans: None observed in the care center Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Neutral body, tail high and wagging, ears erect, mouth open, some panting, some whining, approaches readily, lolling tongue, accepts contact, some pacing Call over: Approaches readily, jumps up onto handler, soft and loose, tail wagging Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Soft-neutral body, tail wagging, ears back, jumps up softly soliciting attention, open mouth, some panting, moves away from handler somewhat, but re-approaches, accepts contact Exuberant handling: Neutral body, tail wagging, neutral, ears back, some lip licking, some panting, moves away from handler somewhat, accepts contact Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Engages in play, soft and loose, tail wagging, lolling tongue Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: Whines when assistant exits; No response to knock; Walks toward door when assistant enters, does not solicit attention Toy Toy comments: Grips and moves away PLAYGROUP NOTES – DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: During Bowie’s previous stay in MACC, Bowie was social with both males and female dogs. He engaged in group play. While in the care with his owner, he did not socialize with other dogs. JUNE – JULY 2019 6/28/2019: When off leash at the Care Centers, when Bowie enters the yard, and he becomes defensive when the greeter corrects him. His session is ended and he is separated safely. 7/1: Bowie is muzzled and his leash is held for today’s introduction to a novel female. He becomes stiff when the muzzle is secured and attempts to dislodge it when the gate is opened. Bowie becomes preoccupied with removing the muzzle and comes into contact with the female. The female attempts to greet Bowie but is immediately separated from him by handlers when he freezes and tracks her with hard eyes. MEDICAL BEHAVIOR: Date of initial: 14-Aug-2019 Summary: Panting, allowed all handling, warmed up slowly ENERGY LEVEL: Bowie has been observed to exhibit a medium level of energy during his interactions in the care center. We cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment, but we recommend that he be provided daily mental and physical stimulation as an outlet for his energy. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar TM – Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13) Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments: No children (under 13): Due to Bowie’s bite history (human) and previously reported behaviors such as a lack of basic manners and leash-pulling, we feel he would be best set up to succeed in an adult-only home at this time. Single-pet home: Due to the concerning behaviors that Bowie has shown during playgroup (see DOG-DOG SUMMARY), we feel that Bowie should not visit dog parks and be the only resident dog. The Behavior Department recommends that he be socialized in a more controlled setting until his behavior towards other dogs can be further addressed. Reward-based, force-free training can be utilized to help Bowie associate dogs with things he enjoys like toys or treats. Recommend no dog parks- Due to the concerning behaviors that Bowie has shown during playgroup (see DOG-DOG SUMMARY), we feel Bowie should not visit dog parks until he has had the opportunity to learn appropriate social skills when interacting with other dogs. The Behavior Department recommends that Bowie receive dog socialization sessions under the supervision of a certified trainer or behaviorist. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to a previous known bite history, we feel Bowie would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner. We recommend exercising safe and appropriate management of Bowie as the severity and circumstance of his known bite history are unknown. Force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Bowie to new and unfamiliar situations, as well as utilizing guidance from a qualified, professional trainer/behaviorist. Potential challenges: House soiling Basic manners/poor impulse control Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Bite history (human) Potential challenges comments: Bowie was previously reported to have accidents in the house and will likely need guidance with house training. We recommend positive reinforcement, reward-based training only. Please refer to the handout for House soiling. Bowie was previously reported to jump up excessively in a social manner. It is recommended that default behaviors such as "Leave it", "Sit/Stay", "Down" are reinforced to substitute any frustration and teach him to control his impulses instead of simply reacting; proper management is also advised. Force-free, reward based training only is recommended. Please refer to the handout for Basic manners/poor impulse control. Bowie was reported to have bitten a passerby while he was being walked on leash, further details remain unknown. Please see handout on Bite history as well as handout on Fearful and Defensive Aggression. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES / August 2019 16-Aug-2019 Progress Exam H: Initial intake 8/28/18, RTS 6/28/18 and 7/14/19 8/16 Diarrhea noted on rounds board S: BARH. No c/s/v noted, diarrhea noted on rounds board Eyes: Grossly appropriate OU. Ears: Unremarkable AU. Nasal Cavity: No nasal discharge. Lungs: Eupneic U/G: Normal external genitalia. No discharge. Musculoskeletal: Ambulatory x 4 with no appreciable lameness. BCS = 5/9 Integument: Otherwise unremarkable haircoat. Neuro: Appropriate mentation. Rectal: Not performed. Externally normal. Assessment: Diarrhea r/o infectious vs bacterial vs parasites vs other Plan: CTM at BACC Start Metronidazole 10mg/kg PO BID x 7 days Start Proviable 1 capsule daily x 5 days 14-Aug-2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 3y Microchip noted on Intake? yes History : RTS, initial intake 8/28/18, then again on 6/28 Subjective: QARH, normal appetite, no elimination concerns Observed Behavior – panting, allowed handling, slightly slow to warm up Evidence of Cruelty seen – no Evidence of Trauma seen – no Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: unremarkable adult dentition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male neutered, no leakage or discharge MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: visually normal Assessment healthy Prognosis: excellent Plan: adopt out SURGERY: neutered ----------------------------------------------------------- NOTES SECOND STAY / Intake 06-27-2019 TYSON, ID# 38532 - 2 years and 10 mos ol, 63 lbs, Brooklyn Animal Care Center, Large Mixed Breed Cross, White / Tan Neutered Male, Adoption Return Owner Surrender Reason: Shelter Assessment Rating: NEW HOPE ONLY Medical Behavior Rating: Blue BEHAVIOR NOTES 6/28/19 Owner surrender, second stay in the care center Spayed/Neutered: Yes Previously lived with: Behavior towards strangers: Behavior towards children: Unknown Behavior towards dogs: Unknown Behavior towards cats: Unknown Resource guarding: None reported Bite history: While being walked on leash, Bowie lunged toward a novel woman and bit her. The severity and result of the bite are unknown. No other information provided. PLAYGROUP NOTES - DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: During Bowie’s previous stay in MACC, Bowie was social with both males and female dogs. He engaged in group play. While in the care with his owner, he did not socialize with other dogs. JUNE - JULY 2019 6/28/2019: When off leash at the Care Centers, when Bowie enters the yard, and he becomes defensive when the greeter corrects him. His session is ended and he is separated safely. 7/1: Bowie is muzzled and his leash is held for today's introduction to a novel female. He becomes stiff when the muzzle is secured and attempts to dislodge it when the gate is opened. Bowie becomes preoccupied with removing the muzzle and comes into contact with the female. The female attempts to greet Bowie but is immediately separated from him by handlers when he freezes and tracks her with hard eyes. NTAKE BEHAVIOR: Date of intake: 27-Jun-2019 Summary: Relaxed, tail wagging, accepted contact, licked staff; Allowed all handling BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13) Single-pet home Recommend no dog parks Place with a New Hope partner MEDICAL EXAM NOTES / June 2019 28-Jun-2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2y10m Microchip noted on Intake? yes History : RTS, initial intake 8/28 Subjective: QARH, normal appetite, no elimination concerns Observed Behavior - panting, allowed handling, slightly slow to warm up Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: unremarkable adult dentition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male neutered, no leakage or discharge MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: visually normal Assessment healthy Prognosis: excellent Plan: adopt out SURGERY: neutered ----------------------------------------------------------- NOTES FIRST STAY / Intake 08/23/18 TYSON@MANHATTAN ACC Tyson - 38532 - 2 years old, 48 lbs Sex: Male Age: 2 years old Is Vaccinated: Yes Primary Color: White Secondary Color: Tan Weight: 48.25 lbs. Shelter Assessment Rating: EXPERIENCED HOME Owner Surrender Reason: client is not allowed to have pets in the home Medical Behavior Rating: Blue Intake Date: 08-23-2018 OWNER SURRENDER NOTES - BASIC INFORMATION: Date of Intake: 23-Aug-2018 ~ Tyson is a 2 year old, male, large breed dog. Client got him from a friend 1 year ago. Client had to surrender due to not being allowed to have pets in the home. Tyson has no known health issues and has never been to the vet. He previously lived with 1 adults. Tyson is friendly and outgoing with strangers. He plays gently with adults.Tyson has not been around children, other dogs or cats, so his behavior is unknown. Tyson does not resource guard his food, treats, or toys, he does not have a bite history and is housetrained. His previous owner describes his energy level as medium to high. Other Notes: Tyson will pee and poop indoors. He isn't bothered during fireworks or thunderstorms. He will struggle when held or restrained but isn't bothered when pushed or pulled off furniture, having a bath and getting paws touched. he has never had his nails trimmed. He will bark when unfamiliar people come to the door but is friendly when people come up to owner outside. Has this dog ever had any medical issues? No Medical Notes: Tyson has no known health issues upon intake. For a New Family to Know: Tyson is described as friendly, affectionate, playful dog with a medium to high activity level. He loves to eat and will follow you around when you are home. he loves to play with squeaky toys and is indoors only. He eats pedigree dry food and likes bones as treats. He is not house trained and is will have accidents in the home. He has never been crate trained and doesn't know any commands. He gets slow walks on leash for exercise and pulls hard when being walked. INTAKE NOTES – DATE OF INTAKE, 08-23-2018: Behavior Notes: Upon intake, Tyson had a relaxed body and waggy tail. He allowed counselor to pet and collar. He sniffed and licked counselors face. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES / August 2018 18-Sep-2018 Spay/Neuter Summary Anesthesia Summary: Canine NEUTER Pre Medication: Buprenorphine 0.3 mg/ml – 2.1 ml IM, once Butorphanol 10 mg/ml – 0.43 ml IM, once Dexmedetomidine 0.5 mg/ml – 0.17 ml IM, once. Induction: Propofol 10 mg/ml – 2.5 ml IV, once. Ketamine 100 mg/ml – 0.64 ml IV, once. Testicular block: Lidocaine/sterile water (1.0 mL/1.0 mL), administered pre-operatively. Anesthesia Notes: Size 11 fr. ET tube placed, maintained general anesthesia throughout procedure on variable isoflurane and variable O2. Used (rebreathing) system with 3 L bag. 22 g IVC placed in RFL cephalic vessel. Intraoperative IV LRS at 5-10mL/kg/hr at 214 mL/hr NSAID Rimadyl 50mg/mL injectable, 0.8 mL, SQ, once post-operatively, for post-operative pain relief. Recovery Status Uneventful Start 1 tablet of Carprofen 100 mg SID PO x 2 days as pain management. --In white box— Surgery report - canine neuter Was this dog a cryptorchid? No - normal canine scrotum and testicles Scrotal incision along median raphe Spermatic Cord Ligation with: 0 Monocryl in two modified Miller's knots per cord Sub Q closure: 0 Monocryl in single stitch Skin closure? Left open to drain Scrotal wrap placed during recovery. Green linear tattoo near incision site to denote neuter status. Pre-op exam S: Slightly anxious, very focused on looking around the room and seeing all the cats, dogs etc. Allows handling if I move quickly around the room with him. O: BAR-H, BCS 4.5/9, MMs pink and moist EENT: No discharge OU, AU, nose. Mild tartar on Is and C's; didn't see PMs. PLNs: Not significantly enlarged. H/L: NSR, NMA. Eupnic, quiet lung sounds. Abd: Slightly tense, not distended, no masses palpated M/S/I: Amb x4. No skin lesions noted. UG: Male intact, testicles soft and symmetrical. Neuro: Alert and appropriate, no sign neurological deficiencies A: Mild dental disease Short-term prognosis: Good P: Neuter today Recommend daily tooth brushing and regular dental cleanings. 15-Sep-2018 Spay/Neuter Summary Post Surgery Note: 6:07 PM NO SHOW VA-E 29-Aug-2018 Progress Exam SO reported constipation with loose stool; recheck. No additional reports or signs of CIRDC A apparently healthy P continue to monitor in shelter 28-Aug-2018 DVM Intake DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2yr Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : unknown Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - normal, BAR Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: clean teeth PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: intact male with two descended testes in scrotum MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat. Periocular erythema OU CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: normal externally Assessment 2yr MI Pitbull mix apparently healthy periocular erythema- r/o allergies Prognosis: excellent Plan: ok for surgery/adoption Microchip administered Test for HW at time of surgery SURGERY: Okay for surgery PER DIEM SLS Per Diem 27-Aug-2018 LVT Intake Estimated age: 2 years old Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - none BCS - 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: slight dental tartar MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities very skiddish, doesn't not like needles, so do CT and HW during surgery SURGERY: Okay for surgery * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * BOWIE IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt him. He cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can he be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE!

Husky tries to comprehend

Click, Dank, and Memes: Dank Memes There are fewer than 1,650 people in the U.S. with the first name Dank. There are fewer than 122 people in the U.S. with the last name Memes. The estimate for this name is not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details. The estimate for this name is not| absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details. Dank Memes There are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. named Dank Memes. The estimates for one or both names are not absolute. There may be fewer people with this name, or none at all. Click here for more details. He is the first Yo that’s my son

Bad, Dude, and Funny: damaramegido: lunar-lavender jumpingoffthewalls space-transgressor spanishskulduggery lalexicographe whosaprettypolyglot lingasms commandervimes lingasms i say we start a meme where we take jokes that don’t work in other languages and translate them without explanation maybe only tagging with the original language and confuse the heck out of everyone on tumblr who’s not in on the meme like in italian we say "prince light blue" (prince azzurro) instead of "prince charming and i just saw a joke that in english would be f you can’t find your prince charming, the solution is to take a random dude from the street and paint him what’s the difference between a stapler and a sewing machine? a stapler staples and a sewing machine doesn’t i take it back, these are still funny in a completely different way #what does the king of the spiders do? he reigns #1 forget how to say it in French but it’s still my favourite joke this was one of mine omg it’s one of my favourite ones ive ever made ever What’s the strongest cake in the world? Mike Cake What do you call a fish that’s a thief? A sea bass. What’s the difference between a cow and sheet metal ? None, both of them have milk What did the mother fish say to the baby fish? Nothing The guest next to me really likes persimmons (I cheated a bit, it’s a tongue twister.) What did the cat say to his injured friend? "Meow (via no-perks-in-being-a-homestuck-d Heard about the painter who lived in a bad place?

Gate eat woman alive.

Not all Hero’s wear Capes

Toss a coin to your wither

They’re so cute

Woman Saves A Koala From Bushfires By Wrapping Her Shirt Around It

Smooooooth…….!

Friction welding gone bad

MMA Fighter insane armbar reversal! (Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennet)

Birthday, Crush, and Drugs: Pick a number? THE BASICS REDDIT SEX & SEXUALITY 1 Age 49. Are you a virgin 25. How many followers do you have 2. Gender 26. Favorite subreddit 50. Has anyone seen you naked 3. Height 27. Favorite redditor 51. Have you any tattoos /piercings 4. Weight 28. Amount of time you spend on reddit 52. Have you had a same-sex experience 5. Where are you from 29. How many people have you chatted with 53. Have you ever sent a nude 6. Zodiac sign 54. Have you ever sexted 30. Last person you DM’d/Chatted 55. Have you ever kissed anyone 7. First name 31. How many subreddits do you follow 56. Am I attractive 8. Birthday 32. Do you follow any NSFW subreddits FAVORITE THINGS LOOKS SEXUAL NSFW 33. Hair style 9. Favorite color 57. Bra dick size 10. Favorite food 34. Hair color 58. Pubic hair: natural, trimmed, shaved or none Favorite music genre 11. 35. Eye color 59. Do you have any body hair 12. Favorite song 36. Body type / build 60. Guys-only: are you circumcised 13. Favorite movie 37. Ethnicity 61. How often do you masturbate 38. Favorite outfit 14. Favorite tv show 62. Last time you masturbated 63. Have you ever watched porn 15. Favorite animal 39. What are you wearing 64. Ideal sexual /physical attributes 16. Favorite thing to do 40. Type of underwear you wear 65. Favorite sexual fantasty LIFE EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS 66. Turns ons Turn offs 17. Your hobbies/sports 41 Sexuality 67. Any kinks 18. Future job /ambitions 42. Relationship status 43. Who is your crush 19. Have you drank / smoked MISC. 20. Have you done drugs 44. Celebrity crush 68. Send a selfie 70. Send me a DM/Chat message 45. Have you ever cheated on someone 21. Do you have any pets 22. Best memory 46. Ideal girlfriend/ boyfriend Ask whatever you like (can’t say no) 71. 47. Idea of a perfect date 23. Most embarrassing moment 72. Ask me one 24. Dream vacation 48. Have you asked anyone out Ask me any one of them(I’m a guy)

Found her cat 16 days after the tornado

“Gold has killed more souls than iron”

Yeah one of those times

And the Troll of the decade goes too..

What would you do when you hear this scream?

Da Vinci surgical robot

Being at a buffet with some chinese

South Park creators issue an apology after their show gets banned in China.

Time for a F**KING CRUSADE BOYS

His partner didn't show up.

The way they construct those cool paths

A majestic creature hidden underneath

Impeach this monster!

Bronn would

Lovely teacher

Another great way to piss Mike Pence off

Just let the handle flail around, it's gonna be cool

Funny Vintage gold short film

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